When facing challenges in your life, do you have a process for making decisions?
The Pursuit of Growth Episode 024 features James Henson. James is a licensed professional counselor, a certified mindfulness and meditation instructor, and a certified business and life coach. James made a comment on the show that I have been working to develop into a lifestyle habit. When he is faced with challenges, frustrations, tough circumstances, and the negative voice inside his head, he asks himself, “What is blocking my love right now?” The answer to that question provides clarity for the actions that follow.
Love has a variety of meanings, and it’s typically identified in one of four forms: kinship, friendship, romantic, and unconditional. Growth in each of these forms of love is important, but unconditional love is where I am currently working to place the most effort, as it enhances each of the other three types of love. Unconditional love is the highest form of love, it embraces a universal love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance. It is generally assumed to mean moral goodwill which proceeds from esteem, principle, or duty, rather than attraction or charm. When applied, unconditional love enhances kinship love, friendship love, and romantic love. Unconditional love requires action, commitment, perseverance, and the ability to push past selfishness, trials, and challenges. Unconditional love requires hard work. Unconditional love is rooted in selflessness, it is service based, ready to forgive, interested in learning, kind, and in control of ego. Unconditional love is rooted in truth and often requires unpopular stances to act firm for moral goodwill.
When I find myself facing challenges and the negative voice in my head, whether regarding life circumstances or frustrating individual interactions, I want James’s question to appear in my mind to help guide my responses. I find myself looking back on my behaviors and realize I frequently do not apply unconditional love with my actions. I also take notice of the negative outcomes that are typically associated with these decisions, which are generally based in selfishness, pride, and an unchecked ego.
Habits take time to form and applying this question to my decision making is a goal that I believe is worth the work to develop into a natural response. James shared that he often asks himself this question 10 times a day. I have learned when I successfully base my actions on how I can apply unconditional love to my challenges, I create greater likelihood of addressing issues in a manner that benefits others, grows my character, and enhances my abilty to handle tough situations in the best way possible.
Imagine a world where we all asked ourselves, “What is blocking my love right now?”
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